


The Color of Jupiter

by InkStainsOnMyHands



Category: Big Hero 6 (2014)
Genre: Alive!Tadashi, Family Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gender Dysphoria, M/M, Sibling Incest, Teen Pregnancy, Trans Male Character, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-08
Updated: 2015-04-08
Packaged: 2018-03-21 22:39:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3706509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InkStainsOnMyHands/pseuds/InkStainsOnMyHands
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The two pink lines on the pregnancy test mocked him. They stood out so disgustingly bright and cheerful, even as they delivered the unfortunate news that Hiro Hamada’s life was forever ruined.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Color of Jupiter

**Author's Note:**

> Aside from "Safe and Sound", this is the piece I'm actually the most proud of. I went ahead and fixed it up, made it nice and shiny, to repost for you lovely people. However, I will warn you, this does take place during the canon movie events, so if underage teen pregnancy squicks you out, please turn away now. Can be very trigger-y due to the descriptions of gender dysphoria. Otherwise, I added some cuteness here and there to make up for all the pain. 
> 
> This was original written for a pregnancy prompt on tumblr.

The two pink lines on the pregnancy test mocked him. They stood out so disgustingly bright and cheerful, even as they delivered the unfortunate news that Hiro Hamada’s life was forever ruined. He had to hold back the urge to just throw the infernal device out of the window, as though he could somehow physically punish the truth-bearing plastic for doing its job. Instead, he wrapped it in toilet paper, placed it in the trash bin, and hoped that neither his Aunt or his brother would find it later. 

\---

San Fransokyo’s family planning services department was one of the best in the country. Outside of their expert medical care, he appreciated how the staff never made him feel judged for his visit. When he gave the reason for his appointment, the receptionist did not throw ugly or sorrowful looks his way. She simply smiled and handed him the paperwork he needed to fill out. The doctor, too, remained completely objective, explaining everything in medically valid terminology without adding flowery language or emotionally charged statements. 

Even his gender identity was given the utmost respect. No one questioned his gender marker (“M”) or his preferred pronouns (him/his). Despite his short stature and feminine face (pronounced horrendously by the long lashes over his almond-shaped eyes, button nose, and pouting lips), they made his masculinity feel validated by how readily they were to accept it. 

He was made comfortable, even after their own test came back positive, reminding him of the ugly reason for why he was there. They offered him many different options. At first, Hiro didn’t think he needed them. He had been so determined to “take care of the problem” that any other option seemed superfluous. But, then he saw the ultrasound. 

The grainy, black-and-white image displayed on the machine’s small monitor didn’t look like a baby. In fact, it looked more like a fat, throbbing kidney bean. However, Hiro could clearly see and hear its heartbeat. It was so strong and so determined that it was oddly reminiscent of the father of his child. 

Hiro’s chest tightened painfully, making it difficult to breath. A heaviness settled behind his eyes. He felt the weight of his sorrow and loss drop into his stomach, resting painfully just above where a new life thrived in his womb. He couldn't do this; he couldn't rid himself of any part that belonged to the baby’s father - to his brother. 

Hiro was prescribed prenatal vitamins and instructed to return in four weeks. 

\---

Hiro initially picked up bot fighting as a means to placate his boredom after graduating high school. With the news of his impending child, Hiro’s motivation changed drastically. He began to bot fight merely as a means to make money. He knew it was dangerous work, but he didn’t know of any other job that would be just as lucrative.

Hiro was unable to ask for help. He refused to allow himself, or his baby, to be a burden on his family. Aunt Cass worked hard enough as it was managing her cafe to make ends meet, and he couldn’t force Tadashi to drop out of school to support their little surprise. 

It wasn’t as though Hiro wasn’t smart enough to get himself out of trouble when need be, at least most of the time.

The very first time his back had truly, literally been up against the wall, stalked by three brutishly built men after hustling a rather large yakuza member by the name of Mr. Yama, Tadashi had come to the rescue on his vespa. 

Tadashi could be physically intimidating if he wanted to be. He was tall, broad shouldered, and lean. Unlike Hiro, his features were sharp and strong. However, he wasn’t the kind of man who used threats of force. Instead, he snatched his brother, placed him on the vespa, and quickly navigated through the alleyways as best as he could to avoid confrontation. 

Flying through the streets while clutching his big brother’s back made him feel, for the first time in two weeks, as though everything would be okay. Even as they were arrested, caught by the police at a dead end, Hiro felt a strange sort of elation. It felt like excitement with a tint of possibilities. 

\--- 

Baymax, the personified balloon his brother created to be a medical assistant, unknowingly revealed his secret. 

After their arrest, and subsequent fruitless argument over the future of Hiro’s bot fighting, Tadashi drove Hiro to his university, under the guise that he needed to pick something up. He promised that once he was done with his errand that he would begrudgingly escort his little brother to his next match. 

After meeting Tadashi’s “nerd” friends inside, and admiring the amazing projects they each worked on, he was invited into his elder brother’s office. There, Tadashi caused an abrasion on his arm by means of forcibly placing a piece of duct tape on his skin before ripping it off. Hiro gave an instinctive cry of distress, which activated the inflation of his elder brother’s invention - Baymax. During the large robot’s preliminary assessment of his condition, he correctly diagnosed his skin injury, as well as being ten weeks pregnant. 

Tadashi’s attempt at motivating Hiro to stop bot fighting and go to college ended with a very confused mechanical engineering student believing that his machine needed to be calibrated further. Hiro felt a hollowness form in his stomach as he witnessed his brother’s cheeks turn a dark shade of pink. He wanted to alleviate his embarrassment by telling him the truth, but his apprehension closed the line of communication between his brain and his mouth. Instead, he allowed his brother to hurriedly deactivate his robot. 

It was then that Professor Callaghan entered his brother’s office. The grandfatherly man with kind green eyes seemed interested in the fighting bot in Hiro’s hand, much to his delight. As they walked out of the small room, Hiro offered to show the older man how the bot worked, but Tadashi politely informed him, through the wall he made transparent with a knock of his fingers, that he was speaking to the father of robotics himself. 

Said robotics expert further introduced himself and his program. He weaved an enchanting spell, enrapturing Hiro with the prospect of being a university student. 

Regardless of his lingering secret, the convincing worked. His brain conjured all sorts of fantasies of entering university, exploring his potential, and graduating in a field he loved. He had seen single mothers graduate college before, so why couldn’t he? (Because he was too young to support himself, was why, but he refused to acknowledge that lacerating notion). 

\---

Tadashi explained that the fastest way to acquire an acceptance letter to SFIT was to create something absolutely amazing for its annual expo. While Hiro had the utmost confidence in his abilities to create something extraordinary, at the end of the day, his brain had supplied half-formed designs at best. He briefly wondered if he could have a case of pregnancy brain so early on. 

After an episode of Hiro franticly disparaging himself, Tadashi, in his own unusual way, attempted to help his younger brother by carrying him upside down over his back and swinging him wildly to and fro. It was his way of trying to exercise his brain, by giving him a puzzle to figure out. However, it did little aside from kickstarting Hiro’s newly formed parental instinct. 

The baby, the baby, the baby Hiro’s frenzied thoughts screamed at him. He felt his muscles quake from the panic that saturated his body. He thrashed, trying to escape Tadashi’s hold, but his elder brother only laughed and held on tighter. 

“Tadashi! Stop! Stop! Stop!” Hiro finally screamed, slapping at Tadashi’s leg. 

Tadashi froze in place and allowed his brother freedom. The moment Hiro was put on the ground, a cold sweat broke out over his forehead. A wave of nausea rolled through him painfully. Before he could attempt to dissuade the concern his brother’s face betrayed, Hiro was forced to run to their shared bathroom. 

He fell to his knees in front of the toilet just in time to lurch within its confines instead of on the floor. His stomach muscles contracted as more and more of its contents escaped him. Hiro was vaguely aware of a hand rubbing circles on his back as he heaved until there was nothing left to expel. 

“I’m sorry,” Tadashi murmured softly as he continued to massage him. 

Hiro wanted to assure him that it wasn’t his fault, but the moment he opened his mouth to speak, bile burned its way out of him. 

\---

In the early hours of the next morning, after suffering through one of the worst headaches he had ever had, Hiro was struck with an idea while staring at his battle bot. Megabot was an instrument of destruction, using magnetic bearing servos to rearrange the three parts of its metallic body in order to tear apart its victims, but - what if it didn’t have to be? 

What if his child could grow up in a world full of great things like Baymax? What if Hiro’s robots were more like Tadashi’s? What if his technology could be used to build rather than destroy? 

\---

Two weeks went by before the night of the SFIT expo. Hiro worked through the entire fortnight to create something that his child would be proud of. Tadashi did his best to help, offering his advice and consolation. The rest of the nerd crew also made themselves readily available with insights or tools. 

The day of the expo was also the day of Hiro’s second obstetrics appointment. He was forced to sneak out of the house early that morning, lest he arouse his family’s suspicion. He took a streetcar to the family planning services department. All the while, he felt a buzzing energy electrify the flesh beneath his skin. 

During the ultrasound, Hiro couldn’t believe that the screen displayed something actually baby-shaped, as opposed to a kidney bean. It was tiny, but it was an amazing transition in just fourteen days. 

Hiro wanted to find the moment beautiful, life-affirming or even joyful, but he just felt anxious. Having this thing inside of him didn’t just feel weird, it felt wrong. It wasn’t supposed to be there; he shouldn’t have the ability to carry it. If anything, it felt more like a parasite, and that thought pushed forth a guilt that wrecked him. It shook his core, making him quake as he lay on the examination table. 

Despite the shame of weeping in front of the doctor, he couldn’t hold back his sobs. She offered him a tissue along with a card that listed counseling resources. 

Hiro never felt more alone. 

\---

Tadashi met Hiro in their Aunt Cass’ garage-turned-laboratory for the final preparations. They looked over Hiro's project, making sure that everything was in its place. To give Hiro’s invention an official final sign off, they exchanged a fist bump and a rush of breath that sounded vaguely like a sound effect for an explosion. 

\---

The SFIT annual showcase was a way for students and amateurs to display their work to the public. Anyone was invited to contribute. Many of the projects were brilliant, but due to the inclusiveness of the event, others were not so. Somehow, that idea boosted Hiro’s confidence, not that it was necessary, or so he boasted aloud. While they pushed the trash barrels containing his invention, he explained to the nerd crew, his brother and Aunt Cass included, that he wasn’t nervous. He was an ex-bot fighter, and it took more than an audience to scare him. 

They all saw through his charade. Each one of them offered a source of comfort, for the exception of the shorter, black-haired, almond-eyed girl named GoGo, who told him to “woman up”. That was by far the opposite of what he had wanted to do, but he took the suggestion in stride. 

Once an announcement blared over the speakers, calling to attention that it was Hiro’s turn to present, he steeled himself. He stood just below the stage, only footsteps away from either being accepted or denied into SFIT. He didn’t know if he could handle the rejection. Even the potentiality of it made him cold and stiff. With such a rejection came a life consisting solely of playdates and school trips, lunchboxes and parent-teacher conferences; it would be a life full of love, but otherwise, degenerative of his full potential. 

It wasn’t until Tadashi reassured him softly, whispering that Hiro had this, that the younger Hamada’s legs unrooted themselves, and he was able to move them up onto the stage. 

At first, he was nervous. There were only a few people milling about, and none of them looked particularly interested in what he had to say. He floundered as he introduced himself and his project. His heart pounded, his chest constricted, and the edges of his vision blurred. 

Hiro looked to his beloved older brother, to his anchor, to his rock. Tadashi mouthed the suggestion to breathe, which he took wholeheartedly. 

The restraint on his lungs broke after he inhaled and exhaled deeply. He silently reassured himself that he could do this, he was a genius after all. His brother believed in him, and if his child had the consciousness to do so, so would they. 

Hiro continued the presentation flawlessly, displaying his microbots with an exuberant flamboyance that captured the attention of the majority of the auditorium. 

The invention was actually made up of hundreds of thousands of tiny, magnetic machines that were controlled by the neurotransmitter he had installed inside a headband. As he explained, they interconnected with one another depending on how Hiro willed them to with his mind. This gave them the potential to be used for construction, transportation, or a number other uses. He demonstrated this by constructing a small, steel tower with his microbots before he allowed them to carry him around the stage. He was settled back onto his feet just in time to receive the full admiration of his applauding audience. 

The presentation was enough to secure him a position at SFIT, as Professor Callaghan had handed him a letter of acceptance shortly after walking off the stage. He wasn’t the only one to take notice, however. Alistair Krei, a tall, blonde tech mogul whose fortune rivaled that of Tony Stark’s, approached the teen with a tempting proposition: sell him the patent for the microbots and be set for life. 

Hiro saw his future flash before his eyes: buying a house where he and Tadashi could raise their child and live independently for the rest of their happy lives. There was a big, weak part of him who wanted that security, but Callaghan’s warning that his company cut corners when it came to producing technology coupled with the expectant look Tadashi threw his way reminded him of his morals. He rejected the offer, though his stomach rolled painfully for it. 

Afterwards, as they left the expo building, Aunt Cass offered to treat everyone to free food, but Tadashi insisted that he stay behind with Hiro. It wasn’t wholly unexpected. Tadashi had a habit of pulling Hiro into private spaces to give him a speech about how proud he was of him. Hiro assumed that Tadashi felt as though this was a necessary part of being an older sibling, although he would never truly know the reason for such a strange peculiarity. 

They walked onto a small, wooden bridge suspended over a small creek. The elder Hamada leaned over the rail overlooking the main campus. Hiro joked that he already knew his reason for being there, even using a mocking tone to emulate his brother’s voice. Tadashi then informed Hiro that the zipper of his cargo shorts had been down throughout his demonstration. At first, the younger sibling thought it was a foul attempt at a comeback until he felt it necessary to check. With a momentary horror, Hiro corrected the mistake causing his older brother to chuckle. 

The melody of his laughter flowed down from Hiro’s ears to his lungs. He drowned in it, making it difficult to breathe, but rather than it being unpleasant, it felt wonderful. Hiro couldn’t help but smile bashfully. He tipped his head and peered up at his elder brother through his dark bangs as he thanked him for everything he had done for him. 

Tadashi returned his smile, which did little to ease the weight within his chest. Hiro wanted to continue to flounder in the presence of his brother, but a scream broke through his reverie. Without forethought or preamble, they ran in the direction of the sound. 

The sight of the SFIT expo building engulfed in a raging inferno met their gaze. The roof was enveloped in dark smoke. The windows displayed the hellish inferno inside.

A coughing, middle-aged woman stumbled towards them. Tadashi asked her if she was alright as he propped her back onto her unsteady feet. She responded that she was fine, but that Professor Callaghan was still trapped somewhere inside the building. 

Hiro felt an earth shattering terror crack through him. He didn’t need to look at Tadashi’s hardened face, or see the way his legs were ready to spring forward to know that Tadashi would try to run into the building to rescue his professor. He knew because Tadashi was a magnificent angel from heaven who couldn’t allow someone to get hurt - or worse. Without thinking, his hand wound itself in Tadashi’s sleeve, preventing him from bolting.

“Tadashi! No!” Hiro commanded. His voice was stern, but the foundation of his demand was unstable. 

Tadashi turned to him; his desperation was written plainly in the knot of his eyebrows and the sober line of his frown. “Someone has to help!” he said with words much more resolute than Hiro’s. The younger Hamada’s fingers slacken. 

For a split second, Hiro’s mind reeled through his worst nightmare, played out like a horror movie: his child born without Tadashi as an uncle or a father. His fingers tightened their hold. He could not allow that to happen. 

“I’m pregnant!” Hiro shouted. 

His words seemingly stunned Tadashi, who froze in place. It took several moment of him gaping like a fish out of water before he formed the inarticulate question of “W-what?” 

Before Hiro could explain any further, a backdraft hit them with enough force to knock them onto the ground. Hiro was unsure if it was seconds, minutes, or hours before he was able to move. He blinked his eyes open. His awareness came back to him slowly, and then all at once. Everything was too focused, too sharp, and it made him feel dizzy. His brother was shouted near his ear, but he couldn’t make out what he was saying. 

It wasn’t until a strong hold on his wrist propped him onto his knees that he was finally able to make out the question, “Are you alright?”

Hiro nodded automatically, despite feeling a pounding in his head and a cramping in his belly. He looked down at himself and found nothing immediately amiss, although he was desperate to close his eyes and fall asleep. Suddenly, his brother’s image filled his vision, although he was unable to focus on him as everything around them, from the falling debris to the screams in the air, called for his attention. He felt large hands pat him down from his shoulders, to his sides, down his back, and then finally over his center. He briefly wondered why his brother was touching him there, but the question was answered silently when his brother pulled away from his groin and produced two, bloody fingers.

Alarm bells rang through the haze that settled over Hiro’s brain. His brother was bleeding? Where? His eyes roamed over his Tadashi’s body, but he couldn’t find an injury. It wasn’t until he saw the fear betrayed on older sibling’s face as he gazed down between Hiro’s legs that the puzzle pieces finally fell into place. He looked down at the crotch of his shorts. Blood, dark and ugly, splotched the fabric. 

Everything became foggy, for the exception of the singular thought of his baby. 

\---

Hiro was raced into the emergency room via ambulance. Tadashi never let go of his hand, even when the paramedics had insisted that he travel on his own to the hospital. Hiro became so hysterical at the prospect of being left alone, that the health care workers had no choice but to allow his elder brother entrance into the emergency vehicle. When they arrived, Tadashi raced along with the paramedics to his hospital room. 

After two nurses admitted Hiro, they took his temperature, measured his blood pressure, and checked his eyes to ensure that he hadn’t sustained a head injury. Once they assessed that urgent treatment was unnecessary, the two siblings were left alone. For an excruciating eternity, Tadashi filled out paperwork while Hiro lay on the hospital bed counting ceiling tiles, trying not to think about the tiny baby inside of his womb that was potentially fighting for its life. 

Hiro wiped at a tear that fell from his eye. 

“Hey,” Tadashi called out to him softly. Hiro turned his head just enough to see Tadashi from the corner of his eye. He sat so elegantly in his chair, one leg crossed over his knee and a pen balanced in his steady hand. “Everything will be okay.” 

Hiro’s lip trembled, but he nodded. 

After several minutes passed by in silence, an olive-toned female, wearing a lab coat, scrubs and a messy black ponytail, walked into the room. Behind her, she wheeled in a portable ultrasound machine. She introduced herself as she configured the device next to Hiro’s hospital bed, but he didn’t have the energy to remember her name. He was only vaguely aware that she mentioned her certification as an ob/gyn. 

The doctor referred to him as “miss” when she commanded Hiro to lie back and relax. Tadashi sharply corrected her, and it made him feel oddly safe, protected. The doctor wordlessly acknowledged his correction with a nod of her head before she reached over to pull Hiro’s t-shirt just above his waist. Resting next to the machine was a long, white tube, which she took and opened over his stomach. A cold, blue, gel-like substance was applied over the area, making Hiro shiver. 

The doctor placed the wand on the prickled skin just above Hiro’s pelvis. On the illuminated screen, much to the younger man’s relief, was the blurred image of a tiny baby. The doctor touched a button on the computer screen, and the room filled with the beautiful “thump thumps” of a heartbeat. 

Hiro heard the sounds of a chair screeching as it slid along the linoleum floor. His hand was suddenly engulfed by his elder brother’s larger one, and it’s warmth broke through the ice that had settled in his fingertips. Hiro glanced over at his brother, who peered at the ultrasound results from the other side of the bed. His expression was a strange mixture of relief, fear, confusion, and awe. It so perfectly reflected the feelings he had kept within himself for the last month. It was a strange kind of validation, as though Tadashi’s own features allowed him a vicarious outlet for the disaster that was his heart. 

The doctor explained that the baby was fine. There wasn’t any evidence of a uterine rupture or placental tearing. The bleeding was probably a result of the baby moving positions in response to the explosion, but as far as the doctor could see, there was no permanent damage. The two siblings shared an alleviated sigh. 

Then, Aunt Cass rushed into the room. 

\--- 

The car ride back home was suffocatingly silent, which offered no merciful distraction against the memory of the horrified expression Aunt Cass had made when she discovered Hiro’s secret. It continued to play back over and over and over again, making him feel hot with shame. 

In the hospital room, when his aunt asked him if anyone had hurt him, he responded back that the conception of his child was done through a consensual act. Cass had said nothing afterwards, and hadn’t even bothered to look his way as she assisted with discharging him. When they entered the car, she slammed the door with far more force than necessary, causing both Hamada siblings to jump. 

It wasn’t until they reached her usual parking spot along the street, just outside of the front door of their house, that she spared a glance at her youngest nephew. Her eyes were fiery and lethal. The dagger-sharp line of her frown felt dangerous. Hiro could feel a cold spike of fear break through the heat of his embarrassment, sending chunks of ice to waver in his veins. 

Aunt Cass swallowed before she shook her head. “Hiro, how did this happen? After all the times we talked about sex and protection?” she nearly growled beneath her breath. 

Hiro’s mind betrayed him cruelly as it silently supplied the answers to his aunt’s questions. The echo of Tadashi’s muffled groan, the one he delivered against the slick skin of his neck as his seed spilled inside of him, reverberated in his brain. He remembered the elation that came with his orgasm, the confusion that came with Tadashi pulling away from him without a word, and then the fear that came from feeling something warm and wet dripping from him. His brain reeled through the image of him sneaking out of bed, after Tadashi had passed out and Hiro’s logic had returned to him, to go to the bathroom. There, he had explored the cavern of his entrance with his fingers and was mortified when he pulled away to reveal a white, slimy coating on them. As though he were not himself, he watched with his mind’s eye as he took the morning after pill, only to throw it up before it ultimately became effective. 

“I’m sorry,” Hiro offered lamely, having nothing else to give. 

Aunt Cass slammed her hands against the steering wheel of her car. A tic worked its way to her jaw. “Sorry? Sorry isn’t going to fix this, Hiro!” A rough sigh escaped her lips. She put a hand against her brow. “What about school?” she moaned solemnly. “What about your future? You just got accepted to University!” 

“Aunt Cass -” Tadashi attempted to interject into the conversation, but was quickly shut down by an outstretched hand. 

“Tadashi, don’t you dare defend him,” she growled, before turning her attention back to Hiro, “The baby’s father, does he know yet?” 

Hiro shook his head. It wasn’t entirely a lie. While Tadashi knew of the child’s existence, he was far from knowledgeable about the paternity of the baby, or even of the night they had conceived it. 

“Well, you better tell him soon, because he’s going to have to pay up for this little mess of yours, or I will find him and castrate him myself,” Aunt Cass warned ominously. By the way the ice in his veins managed to work its way into his bones, Hiro knew the threat wasn’t an empty one. “Who’s the father?” she asked sharply. 

Hiro was momentarily overwhelmed by the question. He couldn’t tell her. He wouldn’t dare tell her. There was no knowing what she would do, especially in this state. Hiro swallowed before he replied with a quiet “I don’t know.” 

Aunt Cass’ features twisted in scandalization; her eyes widened to twice their size and her mouth hung so low it seemed as though her jaw had been dislocated. “W-what do you mean you don’t know? Could it be more than one person or did you not know the guy?” she nearly gasped out in a single breath. 

Hiro was cornered. Even surrounded by thugs, he had never felt this trapped. There was no good answer, no way to make Aunt Cass feel better about the situation. Truth or a lie, Hiro knew that the fallout of his next choice of words would be a nasty one. He trembled enough to make the seat underneath him to click and grind in protest. “I-it was a one time thing, Aunt Cass.”

Aunt Cass groaned as her head fell against the steering wheel of her truck. “Are you considering adoption? Abortion?” she asked, though her voice was muffled by the vinyl against the bottom-half of her face. 

Hiro opened his mouth, although he didn’t know what to say. Fortunately, Tadashi filled in for him, offering that they speak about this in the morning. Everyone was tired, and one-thirty in the morning was no time to talk about life changing events, especially considering what they had all gone through. 

Aunt Cass, reluctantly, agreed. 

\---

No sooner had the door clicked behind the two brothers did Tadashi ask, quietly and beneath his breath, “It’s me, isn’t it?” 

Hiro, who had gone ahead of Tadashi, whipped around. What he found made his chest crack painfully open, spilling the contents inside at his feet. 

His brother’s face was twisted into something between disgust and sorrow. The sudden tension between the two of them settled itself at the point between his eyebrows. His eyes were downcast, staring at the floorboards beneath his feet. The lines around his grimace were deep and jaggedly carved. 

No! Hiro’s mind screamed. No, this wasn’t how it was supposed to go. Tadashi was supposed to be - Hiro quickly shut down his thought and chastised himself for being so naive as to think that Tadashi might have been happy about the news. (But, wasn’t it he who confessed his love to him? Had called him beautiful between his sweet kisses? Had held him like he was something precious as he rocked so gently inside of him?) 

“Please,” Hiro begged. He wasn’t ready to face the reality of being alone, not yet. “Please, not right now, Tadashi.” 

Tadashi made no acknowledgement of Hiro’s pleas. He walked over to his bed and sat down with a heavy, defeated plop. He dropped his head into his hands, allowing them to run through his hair before knocking his cap back onto the bed. “Twelve weeks - Three months ago I came home drunk, and I - we did - Oh God, I thought it was a dream,” he bemoaned. 

Tears pooled underneath Hiro’s eyes. There were far too many emotions to process: guilt, sorrow, fear. He was so exhausted. He just wanted to go to sleep, wanted to let the real world fade away as he slipped into the comfort of darkness. He couldn’t, he knew he couldn’t, not without assuring Tadashi that the panic his eyes betrayed was far from necessary. If he didn’t want this anymore, that’s even if he had ever wanted this, Hiro wouldn’t force himself on Tadashi. He could lose him as a lover, but never as a brother. 

Hiro made his way over to where his brother sat and dropped to his knees. He rested his head against Tadashi’s thigh, just like he used to when they were little; the memory was comforting and eased the pain that wrapped itself around his sternum. 

“I’m sorry,” Hiro muttered, stifled slightly by the hard flesh beneath his cheek. “I-I didn’t mean for this to happen. I just - I thought that maybe you loved me the same way. I’m sorry I took advantage of you.” The words hurt as they tumbled unceremoniously from this mouth. Hiro had been used to his fair share of beatings from bullies, but those punches, kicks and slaps could never compare to what he felt at that moment. It was like every assault he had ever suffered all at once, magnified a hundred times. “This is my fault, and you shouldn’t suffer for it. You can be in the baby’s life as much or as little as you want,” Hiro choked through his soft sobs. 

Hiro felt something press over his head as a shadow loomed above him. Two strong arms wrapped themselves around his shaking back. “Hiro, none of this is your fault. I raped you.” Tadashi let out a shuttered breath through his hair. “I’m so, so sorry. I love you so much, and I hurt you.” 

Hiro shook his head. “You didn’t hurt me, if anything, I hurt you. You weren’t in your right mind, and I - You kissed me and told me you loved me and I just wanted more of that. I wanted more of you, because of how I feel about you.” 

“How do you feel about me?” he asked so softly that the strands of hair against his lips didn’t even move. 

Hiro pulled away from the embrace. He took his brother’s face, tear-stained and wounded, gently in his hands. He leaned forward haltingly, as though he were to approach a startled animal, before brushing his lips over his brother’s in a chaste kiss. 

For a moment, Hiro froze as he realized that his brother was completely unresponsive to his affection. A cold shock of fear ran down his spine, but it was washed away by a tidal wave of warmth when his brother finally tilted his head and leaned forward, deepening the kiss. 

\---

A month later, Tadashi accompanied Hiro to his next ultrasound appointment. He was introduced as the uncle, and was allowed admittance to the room where the technician happily announced that Tadashi was going to have a nephew. 

Hiro’s insides warmed when he noticed Tadashi wiping a tear from his eye. 

During the streetcar ride back home, as Tadashi didn’t trust the vespa to carry his precious cargo, he whispered how joyful he was to be the father of Hiro’s baby boy. 

\---

The first time Hiro felt the baby kick, Tadashi had been touching his belly while singing softly to their child. It was a quick, but foreign, fluttering against his abdomen. The siblings gasped in unison, then turned to one another. Their bright smiles reflected each other’s nearly symmetrically. 

The rest of the day was spent in giddy excitement, promising bright futures to one another as they lay together in bed. 

\---

At sixth months, Hiro carried exceptionally well. If he wore a loose enough t-shirt, no one took notice of his only slightly extended belly. Regardless, Hiro felt as though he had ballooned in the ugliest way. 

At times, Hiro found himself avoiding looking down or at reflective surfaces, especially when he was shirtless. Otherwise, he would lapse into a hopelessness that would extend for days, where he would wish for nothing but to be swallowed up by darkness. 

During those days, Tadashi would curl himself around Hiro. He would rub his rounded belly and remind him of the beauty of his body. He would whisper how happy he was that Hiro shared this gift with him, how the thought of fatherhood filled him with so much joy that it chased his fear away, how his love for him and their child was enough to get him through the worst of times. He would then turn Hiro on his back, lift his shirt, and proceed to coo his affection for their child. 

It was enough to make Hiro smile despite the shadows that plagued his mind. 

\--- 

At seven months, they moved out of Aunt Cass’s house and into a two bedroom apartment near the University. 

As Hiro put it, Tadashi “made bank” after he sold the patent to Baymax’s design to a Japanese company known for creating the latest and greatest medical equipment. Regardless of the sudden wealth they had accumulated, Tadashi, ever the pragmatist, took a job as an adjunct professor at the university. The students loved him for his intelligence, his kindness, and his proximity in age to them. 

Hiro continued to attend classes, despite Tadashi’s protests to “take it easy”. As Tadashi had argued, Hiro’s age alone made the pregnancy high risk, so taking every precaution to keep their child safe was a necessity. Even their friends had their concerns, which they addressed fervently. Despite this, Hiro couldn’t allow himself to live as an invalid. 

Tadashi, eventually after seeing the tremendous progress Hiro made towards his academic career, apologized for the fuss he had made. However, Hiro had a feeling that the guilt locked deep in his eyes was not just about their small squabbles concerning his school life. 

\---

At seven and a half months, Hiro awoke feeling “funny”. His heart wouldn’t stop beating incessantly against his chest in a steady rhythm, which was strange. He turned over to glance at the clock at his bedside table and audibly groaned when he saw that it was nearly four in the morning. Hiro fell back onto the bed with enough force that it jarred Tadashi awake. 

“Something wrong?” Tadashi hummed, his voice heavy with sleep, as he wrapped an arm around Hiro’s chest. 

“My heart feels weird,” Hiro said robotically, much too tired to activate the filter between his brain and his mouth. As soon as the words tumbled from his lips, he regretted saying them, knowing that he had just summoned “Daddy Tadashi”. Such was the name given to his older sibling’s guardian mode. It was a frightening side of Tadashi that made Hiro feel as though he were on suicide watch rather than simply “being with child”.

He was not allowed to leave without a “buddy”, nor was he allotted to handle machinery, hold sharp objects, or even go near a potential carcinogen. This side of his brother was only calmed when the perceived presence of danger finally dissipated, although that was unpredictable at best. 

Hiro almost heard Tadashi’s eyes crack open. He sat up in a smooth, quick motion. “Ow!” Tadashi called out, activating Baymax’s inflation. 

Hiro moved to a sitting position slowly, bogged down by his exhaustion and massive stomach, as Baymax waddled over to the pair. Normally, the robot’s introduction was endearing, but a tired Hiro had no patience for such things. He waved his hand forward and commanded that Baymax just scan him already so that he could go back to bed. 

“You seem to be suffering from the beginning stages of ‘preeclampsia’, would you like me to contact emergency services?” Baymax announced in a delightful manner, which was a stark contrast to his actual words. 

Hiro’s hand flew to his tummy. He looked over at his brother, whose panicked expression matched his. “What does that mean, Tadashi? Is the baby okay?” 

Tadashi flew out of bed. As he struggled to get his jeans up over his legs, he explained, “The baby is fine, it’s you that’s in trouble. Get dressed, we have to go to the hospital.” 

Hiro had never gotten ready so quickly in his entire life. 

\---

To Tadashi’s dismay, the hospital staff was unable to lower Hiro’s blood pressure. In order to prevent damage to his vital organs, they were forced to perform a cesarean section to deliver the baby. Before he could think about the ramifications of bringing a child so early into the world, Tadashi was quickly dressed in scrubs, a medical mask and a hairnet before being pushed into the delivery room. 

Tadashi didn’t have time for his own fear, as his role was comforting Hiro as the doctors extracted their child. He pushed back the dark thoughts of the types of complications that came with being born prematurely to parents who were siblings. Instead, he stroked the hair that was matted to Hiro’s soaked forehead and reassured him with soft, encouraging words. 

Even six weeks early, the baby, although tiny, appeared healthy. Once he was pulled from the comfort of his father’s womb, he wailed, filling the delivery room with the sweetest of music. Protesting against the harshness of the outside world, he wriggled in the doctor’s hands as cheers erupted from the staff. His heart, lungs and other organs were developed just enough to allow him to seemingly thrive as he was placed in Tadashi’s arms. 

Tadashi had never felt such a kind of love before. It was so strong and primal that it took over everything else. He no longer had wants, needs or desires for himself. Everything was for his baby, for his family. 

Tadashi never wanted to let his son go. 

\---

Extraordinarily, against all odds, Takahiro Hamada was perfectly, wonderfully, normal. At five years old, there was no sign of an autochromosinal issue, commonly associated with having parents whose relationship was familial, much to Tadashi and Hiro’s continued relief. 

Over time, the secret of his parentage was revealed to only the closest of friends and loved ones. Everyone had their own reactions to it, and although they weren’t all positive in nature, Takahiro’s existence was taken in stride and eventually accepted. 

The only peculiarity of his was his extreme abundance of polite sensibilities, rivaling that of even his father’s. As he sat in Grandma Cass’ lap, he watched in complete silence, with more patience than some of the adults around him, as his “papa” proceeded to attend his graduation ceremony. Hiro had completed his Masters in mechanical engineering, and although he didn’t quite understand all of the nuisances of what that entailed, he knew that it was important. His daddy had taught him that during important situations, he should be on his best behavior. 

At the end of the ceremony, his grandma encouraged him to slide off of her lap with a cheerful, “Okay, Mini-Dashi, let’s go see your papa.” 

Takahiro didn’t need to be told twice. He nearly skipped down their assigned aisle as his daddy chased after him. He navigated through the throngs of people going down the auditorium’s stairs to the stage, all the while making sure to excuse himself with squeals of “pardon me!” 

Once he reached the wave of students, who were milling either on or around the podium, Takahiro spotted his target. He ran as fast as his little legs could carry him until he was able to launch himself onto his papa's legs. His papa laughed before lifting him into his arms and propping him onto his hip. 

Tadashi joined them a moment later. He put his arms around his small family in both greeting and congratulations. Several students came by, admiring the affectionate display before them.

Takahiro knew his family was unconventional, having to practice calling his daddy his uncle in front of strangers. But, if one were to ask him, he wouldn't have it any other way.


End file.
